The crochet bit is easy, but I'm having to do lots of maths, working out how much of each colour is needed for each motif variation and so how much wool is needed to complete each month, then adding it all up to work out how much of each colour is needed for each quarter, so we can send members the right amount of wool.
My maths is appalling, I'm frustrated and confused, there are so many variables that even with a calculator I'm coming up with different totals each time.
Luckily I have Phil and Valerie to check my maths and correct my mistakes, but I have a sense of panic and dread every time I start thinking about maths.
I have really bad number dyslexia (there is a proper name for it, but I can't remember what it is and probably couldn't spell it even if I did remember.
My inability to do maths (and spell and punctuate) has made me feel frustrated and stupid all my life.
I remember times when my parents spent long journeys in the car making me recite my times tables, my mother shouted at me at the time, she was good with numbers and she couldn't understand why I couldn't get them right. It wasn't her fault, being number dyslexic wasn't recognised at the time.
Nor was normal dyslexia (which I also suffer from)
I hated maths at school, always got an "e" or failed, reports always said "could do better" and "she doesn't concentrate in class"
Had to take my o'level 2 or 3 times till I passed it and my lovely teacher said she was convinced the exam board had marked my paper incorrectly and with anyone else she would of sent it back to be checked.
English and spelling of any sort was also a struggle, but I loved reading and books, so I took English literature A'level, I hated the essays, but loved the books, so manage to struggle through.
Numbers don't stay in my head, I have no idea what my mobile number is and I've had the same number for about 10 years, after 18 months living here I can almost remember my phone numbers, but sometimes get them wrong too.
My postcode is a bit of a struggle too, if someone asks me for my phone number I panic and stutter and do my best to remember.
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realised I'm not stupid, its just I have a number problem, but I'm good at other things like colour, design and art.
I've kind of got normal dyslexia under control with spell check, but always spell some words wrong however many times I write them.
I'm still rubbish at punctuation and normally have to read everything I've written and re-order the words so they make more sense.
Hopefully my writing isn't too bad.
Very occasionally I get e-mails from people pointing out my spelling mistakes and even more very occasionally the e-mails are quite indignant and rude about my lack of professionalism.
I'm sure these people have no problems with spelling or numbers and don't understand that other people do.
In the past I have read forum posts laughing at people who can't spell or punctuate, they just don't understand and assume anyone who makes mistakes is obviously stupid or badly educated.
I find the lack of understanding very sad, everyone is good at something, but the somethings are all different.
I design crochet patterns that need lots of maths, my motifs have got simpler, but my colour layouts have become far more complex.
I've made life difficult for myself, but I love what I do and keep doing it so, have to fight maths on a regular basis.
But having said all this I love geometry and how shapes fit together, I even have a Pinterest Geometry board
I guess geometry is visual and as long as I don't have to work out the angles, its brilliant.
I've written this blog post as I know I'm not the only one who struggles with numbers and spelling and punctuation, in fact I gave birth to and work with one - Daisy, who's a writer, which means she's made her life difficult too :-)
I just want to say to them "your'e not alone, don't feel stupid, as your'e not, its just numbers and when you write them down they make pretty patterns" :-)
P.S I didn't let anyone proof this post, so its bound to read all wrong and have the wrong punctuation, I thought it would be a good illustration of my issues.