This is a very difficult post to write, its very sad, but its also very positive for the future.
So here goes....
Daisy and I have decided to indefinitely mothball The Natural Dye Studio, to stop dyeing and close the website.
We don't want to kill NDS completely as, at sometime in the future, we may decide to revive it and start dyeing again. However if we do it won't be for several years and will be on a much smaller scale.
We have thought long and hard, and spent several months discussing our options, but we have come to the realisation that we both want to move on to follow our other careers.
Daisy wants to be a writer and I want to be a full time crochet designer.
There are so many reasons behind our decision and I want to explain some of them to you so you understand why we are closing NDS.
I'll start with a couple of the smaller reasons and work my way up to the major reason.
1 - Our lease is up at the end of April and even though I don't know for sure I suspect we won't be able to renew it as the ownership of the premises changed hands during our lease period and the new owner has little interest in our business.
If this is the case we would need to find new premises, and would probably mean moving the business off the moor into an industrial estate in Barnstaple or South Molton.
2 - It is getting more and more difficult to obtain our dyes. We have already lost 2 or 3 as they have been discontinued since moving to Devon and now we are unable to buy Fustic, which is our yellow.
Until recently we bought it 1kg at a time from our main supplier.
Recently they stopped stocking it but can obtain it from an outside source but we would have to buy 11kg minimum at an inflated price, which means it is way out of our price range.
Our other suppliers are also unable to source it.
We could use weld as a substitute, we used it previously in Suffolk. However we have been unable to get a good colour here in Devon, a colour which can best be described as pale and wishy washy - not nice at all.
There isn't a plant that dyes green, so to produce green we have to dye yellow first then over dye it with indigo, so this means not only do we lose yellow from our palette, but we also loose all our greens, leaving us with orange, pink, purple and blue.
Now onto the main reason.....
Daisy and I can't cope with the workload.
This is a very long explanation, so you might need a cup of tea to help you get to the end.....
Let me rewind you to a year ago...
Phil, Daisy and myself were all working for NDS, everything was under control and running smoothly.
I was in the process of deciding whether or not to write my book. It was a difficult decision as I didn't want to damage NDS and knew that Daisy and Phil would have to take on my extra work. They both assured me they could cope and that I should do it, so I signed the contract and started making blankets.
We managed to struggle through, it was hard work and meant we had to work weekends to keep everything under control, but we managed it.
Then in the summer Phil was offered a full time job by a very close friend. It was a proper job, with a proper wage and meant that if Phil and I stopped taking a wage from NDS Daisy could be paid a 'living wage' and there would be less of a financial burden for every one involved.
Phil had been working for NDS since his redundancy in 2010, and even though he loved it I always felt that it wasn't enough for him as he was used to big business, plus he wanted to turn it into a much bigger company that would have meant so many changes that the core and ethos of NDS would of been lost.
I know he was frustrated with Daisy and myself for wanting to keep NDS small and true to its self.
I was panic stricken as to what the future might hold, but happy and positive for him as I knew his new job was exactly what he needed.
So at the beginning of August NDS became just Daisy and myself with the help of Nicky one day a week.
For the first month it wasn't too bad and we managed to cope. It's always quieter in the summer and although we had to dye for the shows NDS was almost under control.
Daisy was doing nearly all the dyeing, clubs, wholesale and updates. She was also doing a lot of the winding, all the packing and posting, and all the wholesale and club management.
I was spending 3 days at the studio helping with the dyeing, working on the update, marketing, social networking, managing the website and trying to produce patterns for NDS.
The other 4 days of the week I was designing and making blankets for my book. I wish I could say I was writing the patterns, but I just didn't have the time.
We managed to struggle though to Yarndale, had a brilliant show, and hoped to relax a little bit during the autumn before starting to plan next years shows.
On the way home I started to sneeze and by the time we got home I had flu and have been ill ever since. Nothing major or life threatening just an endless lists of colds and infections (gum, sinus, tonsil), and was finally diagnosed with asthma. As soon as I recover from one thing I come down with a new one.
I've had lots of tests for various things and spent a lot of time at the doctors and the verdict is that there is nothing serious to worry about but I am run down and over stressed.
At one point during this period Daisy damaged the tendons in both her hands from over work and had to stop dyeing for several weeks. As a result she became very irritable and upset; she was hugely frustrated and I was left to take on her workload in the dye-room as well as my own.
It all came to a head one day when a friend of ours said good morning to me and I burst into tears for absolutely no reason at all. I was broken physically and mentally.
During all this chaos we went to Bath to see the Kaffe Fasset exhibit at the American Museum.
I love Kaffe and, whilst standing in amongst all his colour and knitting, I realised that this was what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a designer and make colour and crochet. I didn't want backache and brainache and the constant demands of the website or Daisy's stress and frustration or show panic or constant social networking and wholesale promotion.
I wanted to indulge myself, make exactly what inspired me when ever it inspired me and not have the constant pressure of trying to find new and exciting ways to sell wool.
I casually mentioned the idea of closing NDS to Daisy and she was so happy I'd suggested it as she'd felt the same way for some time.
Although she had been writing Murder on the Moor for the last 2 years she hadn't written anything of her own and was frustrated and exhausted with the constant pressure.
So we made the decision together, in total agreement, to wind down the business and I went home feeling that the world had become a much clearer and more positive place......although I did wake up in the middle of the night panicking and decided that I really couldn't kill the one thing that I had dedicated my whole life to over the past 13 years, hence the decision to mothball NDS and not close it.
I never set out to be a full time dyer. I was a textile artist who wanted to dye a little bit of fabric and thread to use in my work.
I dyed too much so sold it on Ebay, I only dyed little bit of wool as an experiment to see it it would sell, and the rest, as they say, is history....
I can't remember the last time I had a whole day off and we haven't had a holiday for years. My whole life revolves around the business I don't do anything else. I haven't baked a cake, sewn a seam or even read a book for the last couple of years.....my whole life is dedicated to NDS and I want it back!!
So the plan is we dye until the end of March. Hopefully during this period we can fill your stashes (and mine) with enough NDS yarn to last you a long time.
We will dye all the Chameleon club and so it is ready for me to post in the relevant months.
Zodiac will be dyed and gone long before March.
We only have one show booked for 2015 and that is Unravel in February. I'm hoping to do Yarndale as a designer, but that's not certain at this time.
I will finish my book, the deadline is Christmas 2015, and then I will sit back, take stock, and decide what to do next.
Maybe a tiny bit of dyeing in my courtyard, maybe apply for the 2016 shows as a designer with a tiny bit of NDS or maybe none of these things.....who knows.....maybe I'll just sit on the top of Hollerday Hill and crochet in the sun :-)
I wish all of you the very best for your respective futures. I will miss your lovely yarns but your health & happiness comes first. Good luck, Terri x
ReplyDeleteGosh! Sending you heaps of positive vibes at this change of direction!
ReplyDeleteAll the best. Be well x
ReplyDeleteAll the best for your future - however it shapes up!
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best. I may have to learn to crotchet to follow your career. I have loved knitting with Angel 2ply and still have a little left. Sally
ReplyDeleteWow! I shall be very sad to see the end of the NDS, but wish you all the best in your new ventures. I hope that your health and well being improves quickly. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing such a detailed post. The last few months sound dreadful for you & when your body is shouting that loudly you have to listen. I only discovered NDS this year & am sad that it'll be a short relationship but I'm all for doing what, in your heart, you know is best & wish all of you success in your new ventures.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with all your future plans. I adopted a motto in 2013 'Go confidently in the direction of your dreams' - at the time they seemed impossible, by March 2013 I was well on my way out of full-time teaching and into a far more relaxed lifestyle, making my patchwork quilts and enjoying lots of holidays with my husband and our collie dogs. How glad I am that I made that decision - I've just lost my husband, unexpectedly and suddenly - those 18 months we spent together have given me such comfort. You must follow your dreams - wishing you really good luck. Ax
ReplyDeleteA brave but healthy decision! I will miss your beautiful wool but wish you loads of good luck and good health for the future x
ReplyDeleteCan fully empathise - not easy decision but health comes first and foremost - if I had put my health first I would not be in the situation I am in today
ReplyDeleteStress can do terrible things to the body and mind
Rest, recover and take it from there - do what you enjoy and take pleasure in
You take care of #1 first, and that's you and your people. The rest is what it is, and time will sort. Best of luck to you all on your new paths.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best for your future plans. I'm sure it is the right decision you are making not only for health reasons but for your future plans too. Wishing you all the very best
ReplyDeleteI remember buying some of your thick and thin yarn all those years ago on ebay. Good wishes to you all for the future.
ReplyDeleteI am sad to see the end of NDS - I just love the colours and textures - however you both clearly have exciting new things to look forward to and I wish you both all the very best. Thank you so much for inspiring my love of yarn!
ReplyDeleteIn the words of the great Joseph Campbell....follow your bliss. Good on you for knowing when the time comes to do what you want, not what you think you should! Congrats on your new adventure into relaxation.
ReplyDeleteWow - as others have said, I am sad to hear the news, but it sounds like the right decision for you, which is the most important thing. Thank you for all of your beautiful yarns and best of luck with your future dreams and ventures.
ReplyDeleteAww good luck with your future endeavours, I fully understand where you are coming from being self employed myself, its great when a business takes off but somewhere along the line you have to reclaim something of your own life. I shall miss your yarns but your patterns are amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think I had an inkling!!! So very sorry, gosh you will be missed, there is nothing else like NDS in our woolly world!!. Take care and best of luck. Will be placing an order to remember you by if ok!xxHilary.
ReplyDeleteWhat a brave decision, but it really sounds like the right one, in all respects. Good luck to the both of you with your chosen careers! I have just been gifted one lovely skein of Dazzle. It is so beautiful. Thank you for your contributions to the joy of others' knitting and crochet projects.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all three of you every success and especially happy, healthy and successful careers. I am lucky enough to have a stockpile of your wonderful yarns and will be happily crocheting with them for many months (possibly years) to come, rest assured NDS has left a wonderful legacy for anyone who owns any items made with your yarns.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best. There comes a time in life that we have to make decisions sometimes hard, sometimes simple!!! I am new to crocheting and I love it!! I loved your blankets, so colorful and beautiful!!! Again, I wish you all the best and a Happy New Year, it will start great, you wait and see!!!
ReplyDeleteHooo! I will miss looking every week at your beautiful colours... But after reading your blog I can TOTALLY OVERSTAND the reasons you want to slow down NDS...
ReplyDeleteI think I will take up seriously crochet so I can follow you in your special designs adventuressss!
I love your colours combos and your geometry!
I'm happy that you both listen to your bodies and sprits.. For we can only progress by looking within. I really hope you can feel yourself again.
Massive warm hugs to you all!
Hooo! I will miss looking every week at your beautiful colours... But after reading your blog I can TOTALLY OVERSTAND the reasons you want to slow down NDS...
ReplyDeleteI think I will take up seriously crochet so I can follow you in your special designs adventuressss!
I love your colours combos and your geometry!
I'm happy that you both listen to your bodies and sprits.. For we can only progress by looking within. I really hope you can feel yourself again.
Massive warm hugs to you all!
amanda, daisy and phil. we have had a wonderful time toether. thanks so much for being virtual friends from whom i bought the delicious yarn. i love your colours cause they are all naturals. i loved the pictures from the moor. but as soon i read that phil was leaving nds i thought everything will change. sorry about the ending of this lovable time. i am happy to have known you three and you fascinating colours. thanks and lovely greetings from vienna.
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda, sorry you've had to make this difficult decision but I look forward to all your future designs. All good wishes to you and Daisy in your new roles. Best regards from Norfolk
ReplyDeletehave just read your blog and must say I used to be amazed at the amount of work involved in your crochet and the wool dyeing. I used to do knitwear for selling but now just concentrate on things I want to do, being retired, and trying some of your patterns, knitting for myself, and trying to get back to painting.
ReplyDeleteYour crochet designs are lovely and can see why you want to just concentrate on that, you do need the time to do it.
Best wishes for 2015.
Do what you've got to do. NDS is amazing and I know you all have worked to make it so. Good luck with future plans... and take deep breathes when you need to. :) Helen
ReplyDeleteHaving had a small time doing natural, organic dyeing, I totally know how you feel. Your crochet work is beautiful. I wish you all luck in your new ventures. Being self employed is such hard work. Knowing when to stop is a major thing but usually results in a much brighter feeling. Good luck
ReplyDeleteTaking a break is so sensible. You have been through some traumatic times in recent years and need to regain your strength and follow your dream. Should you need weld I find it easy to gather (and dry) in Suffolk and would be able to post you some.
ReplyDeleteAll the best for the future. The best bit of your whole story was not the fact that it was so honest and detailed but the fact that the decision crystallized at the Kaffe Fassett exhibition in Bath.
ReplyDeleteKeep well
Absolutely all the best, it is so fantastic to see people making decisions for the better of their mental health. If you ever decide to reinstate NDS, you will have so many people falling over themselves to get the yarn - and in the meantime, your designs will be cherished! I had to stop and take a long look at Unravel, the displays were incredible. Enjoy the journey!
ReplyDeleteWow my first impression on hearing this was noooo.... but after reading that, good for you! If you can do what you love and not have to be stressed and ill then you have to do it. I hope to see your work about as a designer at the various shown later this year or next.x
ReplyDeleteoh! I'm so (selfishly) sorry to hear you're stopping but I am equally delighted for you - I wish you the very best with your plans! You must make bold decisions and use your precious days in this life to make yourself happy! Very best wishes.
ReplyDeleteWe all start off as one thing and get carried down differing roads.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your life make your art and thank you for all the colour you brought to so many lives.